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Today, we’re going to take a look at another type of screenwriting reversal—the “force from the outside.” In this case, the reversal is another character (usually) that suddenly enters the scene, turning it in another direction. This is a very popular type of reversal.

One of my favorite “force from the outside” reversals is in the film Annie Hall in the “movie theatre line” scene. Alvy and Annie are in the midst of an argument as they queue for tickets. Alvy becomes more and more irritated and ends up berating a guy behind him for pontificating on Marshall McLuhan’s work when he knows nothing about it.

The “force from the outside” reversal occurs when, in order to settle the disagreement, Alvy steps out of the line and produces the real Marshall McLuhan who promptly puts the man in his place. Alvy laments, “Boy, if life were only like this,” as a short denouement and the scene ends. So, in both these scenes we have an escalation of conflict and a reversal which leads directly to the climax, and we’re done!

In a scene near the start of Pulp Fiction, Jules and Vincent interrogate three boys over the whereabouts of the mysterious suitcase. The tension escalates as Jules eats their burger, quotes the bible and then shoots one of them lying on the couch.

Tarantino could have just ended the scene with Jules and Vincent finding the case and leaving, but instead he adds a “force from the outside,” reversal…

One of the boys hiding in another room, bursts in gun blazing, and every bullet misses. Jules and Vincent, surprised to still be alive, turn their gun on him, shooting him dead. Scene over.

Both these examples were pretty surprising the first time you saw them, right? Always look for ways to surprise your reader like this with a reversal. Introducing a “force from the outside” is a great way to do it.

Go back over your script, looking again at any scenes that don’t have a surprising twist of some kind right before the climax. Chances are they could do with one, so get rewriting!

Good luck!

I was leafing through my copy of Cinematic Storytelling by Jennifer Van Sijll, when I came across her analysis of the “adrenalin shot” scene in Pulp Fiction. Her analysis of this scene neatly follows on from our series of posts on how to improve your scene description.

So, in today’s post we thought we’d take a look at writing action within a scene and how to improve it.  (By “action” we don’t necessarily mean guns blazing at helicopters. Action means character movements not covered by scene description or dialogue.)

This technique not only generates much more suspense in a scene, but also creates a leaner, more focussed writing style. Who can argue with that? So, let’s get to it.

Remember the scene in Pulp Fiction when Mia overdoses and Vincent plunges a needle into her chest? Here’s the style of writing many less-experienced writers would employ when tackling this scene:

Vincent holds the needle above his head, ready to plunge it in Mia’s chest.

VINCENT

Count to three.

LANCE

One… Two… Three!

Vincent plunges the needle hard into her chest.

Mia’s eyes pop open and she bolts upright, screaming.

*                    *                    *

Now, take a look at how Tarantino actually wrote the scene:

Vincent lifts the needle up above his head in a stabbing motion. He looks down on Mia.

Mia is fading fast. Soon nothing will help her.

Vincent’s eyes narrow, ready to do this.

VINCENT

Count to three.

LANCE

One…

RED DOT on Mia’s body.

Needle raised ready to strike.

LANCE (O.S)

…two…

Jody’s face is alive with anticipation.

NEEDLE in the air, poised like a rattler ready to strike.

LANCE (O.S)

…three!

The needle leaves frame, THRUSTING down hard.

Vincent brings the needle down hard, STABBING Mia in the chest.

Mia’s head is JOLTED from the impact.

The syringe plunger is pushed down, PUMPING the adrenalin out through the needle.

Mia’s eyes POP WIDE OPEN and she lets out a HELLISH cry of the banshee. She BOLTS UP in a sitting position, needle stuck in her chest – SCREAMING.

*                    *                    *

The main difference between the two versions is the amount of suspense generated. The first has very little, but the second is full of tension. But how does Tarantino create this tension? Well, as Jennifer points out, it’s all about extending time.

The first version is in fact closer to real time. In real life Vincent would take a moment to prepare himself, lift up the needle above his head, wait for Lance’s three second countdown and plunge it in. This is what happens in the first version, but in Tarantino’s version everything is slowed down, thus increasing the amount of suspense as we wait for Vincent to plunge the needle into Mia’s chest.

He does this by using cutaways and reaction shots of the other characters in the scene. Each line, while not mentioning “CLOSE UP”, “MEDIUM SHOT,” or “WIDE” distinctly implies one of these nevertheless. “Vincent’s eyes narrow.” “The red dot on Mia’s chest.” etc. all serve to increase our anxiety because we’re literally left waiting for it to happen.

By expanding time to create suspense, the writer is letting the audience know this is an important moment in the film. It’s a great technique to use in those critical scenes such as major act breaks and the climax and is very effective at heightening suspense when needs be.

Be sure to not only catch our next post on writing action within a scene but, if you haven’t already done so, pick up a copy of Jennifer’s book, Cinematic Storytelling. It’s designed for filmmakers but contains a ton of great info for writers too.

Here’s one of the most important screenwriting tips you’ll ever hear: the key to dynamic screenwriting is utilizing the element of surprise. Shocks and surprises are some of the most effective weapons in the screenwriter’s armoury, and should be used not only at the big act turning points but in the smaller scenes also.

Surprises occur when the writer chooses not to reveal certain information, usually about what one of the characters in the scene is really thinking. Everything seems to be going in one direction, but then suddenly a character will do an abrupt twist and we’re off in the opposite direction. So, in order to master the element of surprise, it’s important to know when to reveal what information.

Contrast is another important factor in making things more surprising. You need to think, “How can the before and after the surprise be as different as possible?”

The easiest way to explain this is by taking a look at a couple of scenes which utilize contrast and surprise to great effect.

Pulp Fiction

The opening scene of Pulp Fiction is two people sitting in a diner talking, but minutes later the conversation turns to robbery and they jump out of their seats with loaded guns. In other words, there’s a strong contrast between their stationary poses / seemingly innocent conversation, and their pulling out guns, which surprises the viewer.

Let’s see what happens when the writer chooses to reveal too much information. Tarantino could quite easily have written the scene with the two criminals walking along the street, discussing which diner to rob. Then, they spot one, and burst in with guns drawn. Which is the more interesting version?

Lethal Weapon

Re-watch the scene in which Riggs goes out on the ledge of a high rise to talk down a guy who wants to commit suicide. After Riggs talks with him a short while, he snaps handcuffs on his wrists and jumps. Shane Black uses the scene to exemplify Rigg’s character—he’s volatile, capricious, and not afraid to die. By making him suddenly jump off the building with the guy, he’s showing all these qualities at once through surprise.

Imagine if Black had written the scene like this: Riggs goes out on the ledge dangling a pair of handcuffs. He persuades the guy to put them on and they jump. Same result—Riggs has shown he’s a bit of a nutcase, but the effect is lost by revealing too much information all at once, rather than surprising the viewer with action.

So, remember to keep your cards close to your chest at all times and it’ll be easier to surprise the audience with the twists and turns they love.